Heuer Lost And Found
A. B. Funkhauser
Genre: Adult, Contemporary, Fiction,
Metaphysical, Paranormal, Dark Humor
Publisher: Solstice Publishing
Date of Publication: April 23, 2015
Number of pages: 237
Word Count: 66,235
Formats available: Electronic, Paper Back
Cover Artist: Michelle Crocker
Unrepentant cooze hound lawyer Jürgen Heuer dies suddenly and unexpectedly in his litter-strewn home. Undiscovered, he rages against god, Nazis, deep fryers and analogous women who disappoint him.
At last found, he is delivered to Weibigand Brothers Funeral Home, a ramshackle establishment peopled with above average eccentrics, including boozy Enid, a former girl friend with serious denial issues. With her help and the help of a wise cracking spirit guide, Heuer will try to move on to the next plane. But before he can do this, he must endure an inept embalming, feral whispers, and Enid’s flawed recollections of their murky past.
Fresh writing filled with rich
vocabulary, this story features a vivid cast of colourful, living-breathing
characters. This one will keep you reading late into the night until the final
page.—Yvonne Hess, Charter Member, The Brooklin 7
Ms. A.B Funkhauser is a brilliant
and wacky writer …Her distinctive voice tells an intriguing story that mixes
moral conflicts with dark humor.—Rachael Stapleton, Author, The Temple of
Indra’s Jewel and Curse of the Purple Delhi Sapphire
The macabre black comedy is
definitely a different sort of book! You will enjoy this book with its mixture
of horror and humour. —Diana Harrison, Author, Always and Forever
Heuer Lost and Found is a quirky
and irreverent story about a man who dies and finds his spirit trapped in a
funeral home with an ex-lover who happens to be the mortician. The
characterization is rich the story well-told.—Cryssa Bazos, Writer’s Community
of Durham Region, Ontario, Canada
Author A. B. Funkhauser strikes a
macabre cord with her book “Heuer Lost and Found”. I found it to have
a similar feel to the HBO series “Six Feet Under”.—Young,
Author, A Harem Boy’s Saga Vol I, II, and III
About the Author:
A.B. Funkhauser is a funeral director, fiction writer and wildlife enthusiast living in Ontario, Canada. Like most funeral directors, she is governed by a strong sense of altruism fueled by the belief that life chooses us and we not it.
“Were it not for the calling, I would have just as likely remained an office assistant shuffling files around, and would have been happy doing so.”
Life had another plan. After a long day at the funeral home in the waning months of winter 2010, she looked down the long hall joining the director’s office to the back door leading three steps up and out into the parking lot. At that moment a thought occurred: What if a slightly life-challenged mortician tripped over her man shoes and landed squarely on her posterior, only to learn that someone she once knew and cared about had died, and that she was next on the staff roster to care for his remains?
Like funeral directing, the writing called, and four years and several drafts later, Heuer Lost and Found was born.
What’s a Heuer? Beyond a word rhyming with “lawyer,” Heuer the lawyer is a man conflicted. Complex, layered, and very dead, he counts on the ministrations of the funeral director to set him free. A labor of love and a quintessential muse, Heuer has gone on to inspire four other full length works and over a dozen short stories.
“To my husband John and my children Adam and Melina, I owe thanks for the encouragement, the support, and the belief that what I was doing was as important as anything I’ve tackled before at work or in art.”
Funkhauser is currently working on a new manuscript begun in November during NaNoWriMo 2014.