Please welcome author Amy Mah.
Please tell us a little about yourself and your book.
Me? Well I am a little older than my books namesake who is about 16 and is stuck at that age, where as I’m in my 20s and getting older with each birthday.
My books take the reader into a teenage vampire world and the problems that can be had by being a teenager with good sharp teeth, and well just listen to what she has to say about Hollywood’s idea of Naked Big Busted female vampires bouncing about in old Castles:………………….
How many times have I got to say this it is only the turned female vampires (ex-humans and now undead) Hollywood style that have perfect boobs and like to go around wearing a thin see-through nightdress with no panties.
Normal vampire like me……. well we like to wear clothing and with how cold the caves or castles are thick clothing!
My flannelette Nightdress could only be deemed see-through if you have x-ray vision!
So the idea of beds containing naked vampires in old castles is only for the movies, er………. castles the same as caves are cold, damp and draughty at the best of times and they are like very cold in winter!
Shall I put it another way, vampires are not always the best of company when they are happy so it is best not to meet one with a cold !
I have checked with my family and the only vampire I know that wears a night shirt for sleeping is my Uncle, his sister my Aunt wears more in bed than see does during the day including a layer of cats which join her in bed!
My boyfriend ‘Max’ says he only wears a smile in bed and I can come and check anytime !
But his sister my bestie friend ‘Ice’ says he wears a smelly old Tee and shorts which their Mom has threatened to burn if he forgets to put out to wash again.
She, that is Ice and not her Mom wears a top and shorts in bed, myself if anyone is interested I wear PJs and in winter a flannelette nightdress over them, plus I also keep my underwear on as my bedroom is cold, unless Bambi my maid sleeps with me, then we can cuddy up together.
Look ! how many times must I repeat myself, just because guys can’t sleep together or it can mean them playing a game of hide the sausage, it does not mean that being a girl sleeping with anther girl makes you a lesbian, sometimes it just means the bedrooms are DARN COLD ! Plus if you sleep with your maid she can act as a midnight snack …………. Well getting out of bed to go walking about bare footed on ice cold floors just makes you colder still by having to stop and take a pee……yes the cold also does that to a vampires bladder …. And having Marble toilets sound so exotic until you get your butt frozen onto one! ……the first to laugh I will bite OK !!!
Where did you come up with the idea for Fang Rules
Well for the past year I have been trying to write a novel following the life of a teenage vampire trying to fit in and discovering that human world or vampire world are both as crazy as each other and have lots of hidden rules so in the book she decides to list the problems on being a teenage vampire and from this I suddenly had a stand alone book on a girls guide to being a vampire.
What is your favorite Rule and Why?
My favorite rule? Well how about always keep a little black dress in your wardrobe as it is something that never goes out of fashion even for a vampire
What do you think readers will find the surprising about your book?
Describe Fang Rules in just 5 words.
Guide to being a vampire
Fangs Rule: A Girls Guide to Being a Vampire
By Amy Mah
FANGS RULE a girl’s guide to being a vampire …. is a young Adult book for anyone between Puberty and Senility as it takes a close up look at life as a female teenage vampire in easy to follow A to Z advice for the reader, the book is also full of manga art which helps show the human world what life is like in a vampire world……….
Giving helpful advice such as how to explain to your Mom that as a teenage blood curdling denizen of the night you would like to paint your cave bedroom black without having a shouting match over why you don’t like the way she painted the stalagmites bright pink to go with the large stuffed pink bats hanging from the ceiling.
Everything is explained from how to polish your fangs to fashion tips and ways of climbing across a ceiling wearing a nightdress without showing your underwear.
Fangs Rule is a must for every teenage vampire and from these pages you will see why Amy says “Vampires Don’t Sparkle! …. They Bite!
Hi! My name is Amy Mah Vampire and here are some helpful hints from my book: Fangs Rule: A Girls Guide to Being a Vampire
Going out on a date: Yes we all go thought the same difficulties of what to wear, the wardrobe will not shut but I still do not have anything suitable, so after hours of searching in the end I decide to wear black as it will match my comfy shoes, ok so I have more shoes than a dictators wife but only one comfy pair and they are black, why comfy shoes? Well I have no idea where we are going so what the heck should I wear!
Now comes the date bag, why can’t a girl just go out, and when I say a girl I mean me, why do I have to look like I’m going for a 10 day vacation and not just a night out.
So let’s open the date bag and check if everything is there.
1. Cell phone fully charged.
2. Spare cash and credit card.
3. Packet of mints for after eating smelly food….er…………foreigners
4. Chap stick ….well you may kiss him and …….. it goes with the mints ok?
5. Make up mirror, why take a mirror you ask, ..er …well if I get ship wreaked I can use it to signal for help, look it is just needed ok!
6. Packet of tissues just in case you cannot find a washroom when out.
7. Keys large bunch and no I do not know why luggage keys are on the same ring with my house keys.
8. Sun glasses, hat and 100% sun block just in case you stay out early.
9. A spare pair of panties in case I sleep over ……… er not that I am planning to sleep over … er forget it ok! Look I said stop giggling and forget it!!!!
10. Precautions and protection, nowadays it is not just a boys reasonability for protection and so a girl should also take her own protection if needed, personally I take a can of Mace and a 10 inch kitchen knife and if that fails I sink my teeth into the neck!
The author Amy Mah (Vampire) is a well known blogger, that writes and blogs as a cynical teenage vampire:
Being a vampire sounds like it should be a cool thing to be as a teenage girl, like sleeping during the day and enjoying a night life with friends, huh, no one had warned me that it also meant having to suffer Teenage Hormones for so long! I am stuck as a teenager the years may pass but I am the same age!
Ok you want to know about me? Well I am a little older than my Vampire self which you first meet when she is 16, and I am in my 20s.
With my books I have tried to create a different type of vampire series using myself as the main character and so with the help of an excellent cartoonist my true likeness has been changed into a manga cartoon that you will see on the book covers and also inside the books as my book is full to bursting with colour drawings of me and my vampire friends and family.
Once you get to know me and my writing you will discover that I am a little crazy ……heck make that a lot crazy as Amy Mah the vampire character is me!
In creating my vampire world I have added a lot of real stuff which happened in my past and added it into my writings so yes my life has been real crazy in the past to fit into a self help vampire guide!
Fangs Rule (a girls guide to being a vampire) is a funny, cynical and sarcastic look at the problems of life as a teenage vampire, if you think being a teenage human can be problematic you try being a teenage vampire with hormones that mean you may like boys but in a way you would like to know their blood group before you date.