Incompetent Gods by Gabriele Russo

Incompetent Gods_FINAL

 

Book Description:
In a dimension created by the ancient gods, most are now stuck working at Gods Incorporated. CEO Queen Louhi Pohjola, a mortal demigoddess turned vampire (on a diet), holds the planet in the palm of her hand and while she cannot by any stretch of the imagination be called a nice person, there’s worse lurking in her shadow.
Goblin, a bitter hybrid with childhood issues and shape-shifting abilities, has a grudge against the world. First on his to-do list is getting rid of the Queen and take her place by forcing the titan Ba’al to devour her.
As her friends and allies fall one-by-one into Goblin’s traps, the Queen’s fate seems inevitable. With no one left to fight, will Ba’al’s friends, a bunch of over-the-hill incompetent gods, be enough to stop Goblin from turning the world into hell?
 
About the Author:
Gabriele Russo, AKA Lucie-Gabrielle Jolicoeur-Rousseau, was born in Quebec City amidst a family of book lovers – her father had dreamed of being a writer and both of her brothers are published authors.
Since she earned her Bachelor’s in History, it was no surprise (except to her) that she ended up working in restaurants, eventually owning two, which almost drove her mad. She sold them and was nursed back to pseudo-sanity by Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett.
That’s when she answered the family calling and decided to write. Armed with her ideas for the Gods Inc. series she went back to the University and got her Master’s in Creative Writing.
She now lives with her husband in Culpeper, Virginia, where she divides her time between painting, ripping apart and reconstructing her recently bought historical home, playing tennis and, of course, writing more books.

 

Willem by Victoria Danann

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Excerpt:

“Lyra, this is Willem.”

“Oh, yes. Willem. Are you having fun?”

“I, ah, yes. I just got here.”

“Have you had something to eat? We wouldn’t want you to be hungry and there’s so

much food!”

“I’ll never forget the food.”

She barked out a laugh. “You hope!”

It took me a second to catch up and remember about the memory wipe thing.

“Well, yeah, I guess I do hope I remember.”

Her grin resolved into a smile. “So tell me what you’re going to do with your life if you

win, Willem.”

“You know, that still sounds like one of those what-would- you-do- if-you- got-a- million-

dollars questions. It feels too unreal to take seriously.”

She nodded. “A good solid honest answer. I like that.” After studying me for a few

seconds, she said, “Okay. You passed my test. Let me introduce you to Lilith.”

She turned me around when she took my arm and, as she did, I happened to catch a

heated look exchanged between Harmony and Raider. It was an, “Ah hah,” moment immediately

followed by an, “Oh, crap,” moment when I realized that, if I won Harmony’s sister, Raider

would be my brother-in- law. I understood why he was happy enough to star in the Orientation

video and babysit inexperienced canoers on the river. She was a catch and he knew it.

I decided there are worse things than being in Raider’s family. He didn’t actually finish

drowning me in the river, but at the time it felt like he was trying. On the other hand, he insisted

on showing me to the ballroom. And he called me ‘hero’. Who couldn’t get used to that?

I was ushered from one beautiful woman to the next and each took measure of me in her

own way. It was an interview, or audition, but it was the most pleasant I’d ever experienced. Or

ever would, I was sure.

Still, after an hour or so, I was getting hungry. When Bless tried to walk me to another

chat, I balked.

“Hey, could you maybe give me a couple of minutes to partake of some of the amazing

feast stations? I haven’t eaten and that guy in the other part of the house carving that prime rib

really spoke to me.”

Bless had a laugh that didn’t exactly sound like tinkling bells, but reminded me of them

just the same. “Certainly, Willem. Would you like me to accompany you?”

“That would be…” I happened to look away and notice that most of the conversational

groups in the room consisted of clusters of contestants, not a witch in sight. I realized that’s what

I’d been seeing the whole time whenever I looked away from the woman I was talking with.

“Bless, I hope this isn’t an inappropriate question, but am I getting special treatment?”

Bless treated me to an extra big helping of her tinkling bells laugh. “Willem, you’re quite

perceptive. And you’ve passed my test.”

“You know, you’re the sixth or seventh person to say that to me. Is this a gauntlet of

gorgeous women in sexy red dresses?”

Again the laugh. “I love that description. You’re quite a character, Willem. You would fit

in around here.” As she smiled at me, she grabbed the elbow of another beauty passing by.

“Glory, this is Willem.”

When Glory smiled, I knew how she was named. “Hi, Willem.”

“He’s hungry and headed in the direction of prime rib.”

“Of course he is. I don’t see a man like this eating watercress.”

“Yes, well, perhaps you’d like to accompany him while he dines.”

Glory seemed as ecstatic as if she’d won the prize herself. “Of course! Willem. I’d be

honored.”

She slipped her arm in mind and walked me to the prime rib. “What would you like with

that?” she asked. “While Raleigh is slicing your rib just the way you want it, I’ll gather up

something to go with.”

“You sure?”

“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”

“Okay, then. Caesar salad. And did I see au gratin potatoes?” She nodded. “That should

do.”

She pointed to a table at the rear of the room. “I’ll meet you right there.”

She was there with salad and spuds before I arrived with a hunk of prime rib that smelled

so good it was all I could do to not face plant into the plate and tear into it with my teeth.

Somehow I managed to preserve enough dignity to sit and take a few bites of salad before

digging into my current reason for living with fork and knife.

Out of nowhere a waiter appeared on my right pouring red wine into my glass. That was

followed with a delivery of ice water seconds later.

“You’ve eaten?” I asked Glory, who sat smiling with her legs crossed as if there’s

nothing in the universe she’d rather be doing than watching me eat.

“Much earlier.”

Someone appeared with a mint garnished drink that I hadn’t heard Glory order.

“I’ve decided that Wimberley must have the best service in the world. I’m certain the

queen of England is envious.”

She smiled. “Don’t you know you get what you pay for, Willem?”

“So I’ve heard. I’m just a middle class boy from Alabama so I wouldn’t have much

personal experience in that department.”

“You don’t strike me as someone who thinks of Golden Bull Buffet as a special

occasion.”

“I had some nice times courtesy of my agent.”

“Your agent? Oh, that’s right. You were an actor.”

“How is it that everyone seems to know me by name? And, obviously, some know more

than just my name. Have you memorized bios on all fifty contestants? And come to think of it,

why did you say ‘were an actor’?”

“First, yes. We look over incoming guests. Second, some of us just learn names, some of

us read more and have good recall. Third, you told our people in L.A. that you’re done with

acting. That puts it in the past tense, right?”

“Right. So, should I be asking questions about you?”

She grinned. “You’re funny, Willem.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because you have been asking questions.”

Hearing her say it out loud, I realized that was true.

“This prime rib is indescribable. And the wine, he didn’t ask me for a preference, but I’ve

gotta tell you. It’s amazing.”

“If you win, you’ll eat whatever you want when you want it. As far as the staff goes,

they’re very skilled at reading people and anticipating needs.”

“Or desires.”

“You’re quick, Willem. I like that. And you’ve passed my test.”



Willem

The Witches of Wimberley
Book One
Victoria Danann
Genre: paranormal romance
Publisher: 7th House, Imprint of Andromeda LLC
Date of Publication: June 24, 2016
ISBN: 978-1-933320-61-8  
Number of pages: 265
Word Count: 64,000
Cover Artist: Victoria Danann
Book Description:
Willem is an out of work actor. He gave himself ten years to make it and never got a single paying job. While waiting for what would probably be his last audition ever, the guy standing behind him in line gave him a card with a phone number and said, “If you’re definitely quitting, try the witches.”
He took the card for the sake of being polite and planned to throw it away. But he didn’t throw it away. He called the number, entered the annual competition to win a witch, and won. To his amazement, he got everything he’d ever wanted from life, but in the end would have to make a choice. What’s more important? Being happy or being free of commitment?
AMAZON     APPLE     NOOK     KOBO

 

 About the Author:
New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of eleven romances. Victoria’s Knights of Black Swan series won BEST PARANORMAL ROMANCE SERIES THREE YEARS IN A ROW. Reviewers Choice Awards, The Paranormal Romance Guild.
Her paranormal romances come with uniquely fresh perspectives on “imaginary” creatures, characters, and themes. She adds a dash of scifi, a flourish of fantasy, enough humor to make you laugh out loud, and enough steam to make you squirm in your chair. Her heroines are independent femmes with flaws and minds of their own whether they are aliens, witches, demonologists, psychics, past life therapists. Her heroes are hot and hunky, but they also have brains, character, and good manners. **Usually.
Victoria lives in The Woodlands, Texas with her husband and a very smart, mostly black German Shepherd dog.
MAIL LIST: http://bit.ly/1IfByBg   
    
GOODREADS: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5822912.Victoria_

 
 
Tour
giveaway

 

3 signed paperbacks of WILLEM. 
 
Must be a subscriber of Victoria’s mailing list to be entered to win 
 
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FROM TITANS by Mary Ting

The Titans possess power more than anyone anticipated, and Cronus is hungry for revenge after his own children locked him up in Tartarus.

No one is safe. Not even the humans. Visit the world of Descendant Prophecies in FROM TITANS by Mary Ting…

From Titans

 

About FROM TITANS

 

Everyone is searching for Mason.

Zeus sent Hermes, and the Oracles have used their magic, with no success. A sparkle of hope arises when Eris, the goddess of Chaos, sends an invitation to her wedding engagement party. She’s holding Mason hostage, and Skylar and her friends only need permission to enter Eris’s world to rescue him.

At the party, Eris gives them one condition: In exchange for Mason, they must travel to the Land of Reverse and bring back the bottle of gold water King Midas used to wash himself free of his gift. Further chaos follows when Eris not only sets up a hunt in the Labyrinth of Crete, but makes a bargain with the Titans she rescued.

The Titans possess power more than anyone anticipated, and Cronus is hungry for revenge after his own children locked him up in Tartarus. No one is safe. Not even the humans.

 

Book trailer: http://bit.ly/1VFM79g

 

On Sale in Digital: June 24, 2016

Amazon UK | Amazon US | Barnes & Noble 

 

 Add FROM TITANS to your TBR pile on Goodreads!

CELEBRATE THE RELEASE WITH A GIVEAWAY!

1 Grand Prize: $25 Giftcard to Amazon + Print Set of Entire Descendant Prophecies Series + Signed Bookplates

2 Runner-Ups: Digital Edition of Any Backlist Title from M. Clarke or Mary Ting

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Excerpt:

“We have to go,” Nick stated.

“We have to prepare ourselves. We could be walking into a trap,” Zara said.

“We’re not going. We can’t give her the satisfaction of thinking she bested us all,” Zeus countered fiercely.

“Don’t be ridiculous, brother,” Hades retorted, draping his arm around Persephone.

“Cronus could be waiting for us to take his revenge,” Poseidon added.

“Then let him,” my mom roared. “I have his sickle, the one he used to defeat his own father, Ouranus. And this time, I’ll end him for good.”

Then everyone’s shouts blended into one as the walls closed in on me.

“I’m going. No one is going to stop me,” Amanda muttered.

“Me too,” Everett said sternly.

The voices became nothing but murmurs lost in my head. As the room began to spin, white dots flashed before my eyes. Icy chills rushed through me, and everything went dark.

 

 

Check out the entire Descendant Prophecies series!

From Gods

About FROM GODS (Descendant Prophecies Book 1)

 

***2013 InD’Tale RONE Award Finalist for YA****
Did you just see a flash of lightning across the sky on a clear sunny day?
Don’t blame Mother Nature.

Skylar Rome can’t wait to spend her last summer before college with her cousin, Kayla. Everything changes when they meet the Grand brothers. Skylar is sure she should stay away from Mason Grand, but their attraction is undeniable. Then Skylar’s life erupts into turmoil. She steps into a world where descendants of ancient gods have super powers, evil beings chase her, and questions arise about her own identity. She is running out of time and running for her life, while trying to unravel the mystery of what they want from her.

Forced into a battle set into motion long before she was born, will Skylar find the answers she seeks, or will she die trying?

 

 

Order this title at these online retailers:

Amazon US Amazon UK | Amazon Audio 

 

 Frp, Deotoes

About FROM DEITIES (Descendant Prophecies Book 2)

 

A mysterious stranger enters Skylar’s inner circle, destroying her precarious peace. She begins college amid new secrets, emerging powers, fresh dangers, and a potential stepfather.

In New Olympus, a hidden dwelling place for descendants of the gods, she finally gets answers. But can she trust them? Skylar and the Grand family must work together with these descendants to discover the key to their rescue from the evolving, evil vultures of Hades.

As the threat increases, Skylar must learn to control her newfound powers and decide who to trust before it’s too late.

 

 

Order this title at these online retailers:

Amazon US Amazon UK | Amazon Audio

 

 From Orgins

 

About FROM ORIGINS (Descendant Prophecies Book 3)

 

Faced with an impossible choice, Skylar and the other descendants embark on a deadly quest to the underworld to confront Hades, who has been plotting to kill them all.

They discover the ancient gods are not dead, as once believed, but are instead held captive in a secret location. In order to save the world from destruction at the hands of Hephaestus, the descendants must rescue their ancestors, the gods of Olympus.

Skylar learns more about her bloodline and her powers, but there is a heavy price to pay. The darkest forces known to man are about to return to reclaim their stolen kingdom.

 

 

Order this title at these online retailers:

Amazon US Amazon UK

 

 

 

 

Ting

Author Bio:

International Bestselling, Award-Winning, Author Mary Ting/M. Clarke resides in Southern California with her husband and two children. She enjoys oil painting and making jewelry. Writing her first novel, Crossroads Saga, happened by chance. It was a way to grieve the death of her beloved grandmother, and inspired by a dream she once had as a young girl. When she started reading new adult novels, she fell in love with the genre. It was the reason she had to write one-Something Great.
Connect with Mary:

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